Sunday, August 10, 2008
An Angel of my own- Timothy Kenneth Garrett-August 11th 1995
Today was the day I learned that I had an angel of my own. Tomorrow, you would be thirteen years old-a teenager.
As I held you, for what seemed just a fleeting moment and as my heart was breaking and the tears were flowing, I couldn't understand why you had to leave. Perhaps God had a bigger plan for you, it is probable that you wouldn't have survived your delivery but still, life seemed so unfair. A beautiful boy, almost 13 lbs and 24 inches long, with rosebud lips and a strong brow, you looked so strong.
Time passes and life goes on as it needs to. The tears have diminished from torrential downpours to occasional showers, however the love I feel for you has never faltered. I have often wondered how your personality would have developed, would you be as tall as Jonathon, an athlete an artist? You would be just going into your last year of elementary school and getting ready to start thinking about what you wanted to do for the rest of your life...............
Life is precious. Sounds like a cliche, but you were my teacher. A lot of things I took for granted became much more significant after you. Working my way through the pain, emptiness and grief allowed me to become a stronger person. I feel that you were and have been with me all the way along this journey.
I feel blessed to have had experienced the joy and excitement with each stage of growing you......from the gentle flutters that I felt in your fourth month to the little feet protruding just below my ribcage. The anticipation of holding and loving you and the thrill of being a mother.
I feel even more blessed to believe that you are still with me, an Angel of my own, watching over us. Sometimes I feel a gentle flutter across my brow and it comforts me to think it is the breath of an angel.........................
An angel of my own
Love you today, forever and always