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Sunday, August 10, 2008

An Angel of my own- Timothy Kenneth Garrett-August 11th 1995


Today was the day I learned that I had an angel of my own. Tomorrow, you would be thirteen years old-a teenager.

As I held you, for what seemed just a fleeting moment and as my heart was breaking and the tears were flowing, I couldn't understand why you had to leave. Perhaps God had a bigger plan for you, it is probable that you wouldn't have survived your delivery but still, life seemed so unfair. A beautiful boy, almost 13 lbs and 24 inches long, with rosebud lips and a strong brow, you looked so strong.

Time passes and life goes on as it needs to. The tears have diminished from torrential downpours to occasional showers, however the love I feel for you has never faltered. I have often wondered how your personality would have developed, would you be as tall as Jonathon, an athlete an artist? You would be just going into your last year of elementary school and getting ready to start thinking about what you wanted to do for the rest of your life...............

Life is precious. Sounds like a cliche, but you were my teacher. A lot of things I took for granted became much more significant after you. Working my way through the pain, emptiness and grief allowed me to become a stronger person. I feel that you were and have been with me all the way along this journey.

I feel blessed to have had experienced the joy and excitement with each stage of growing you......from the gentle flutters that I felt in your fourth month to the little feet protruding just below my ribcage. The anticipation of holding and loving you and the thrill of being a mother.

I feel even more blessed to believe that you are still with me, an Angel of my own, watching over us. Sometimes I feel a gentle flutter across my brow and it comforts me to think it is the breath of an angel.........................

An angel of my own


Love you today, forever and always

Mom

14 comments:

  1. Vicki:

    My thoughts are with you today as you mourn the loss of your little angel.

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  2. Oh Vicki - this post brought tears to my eyes - I am so sorry for your loss :( - what a beautiful tribute to your little angel! My thoughts are with you today as well - sending big ((hugs)) your way!

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  3. What a beautiful tribute! I have always truly believed that God never gives us more than we can handle. This post certainly is a tribute to your love and to your strenghts. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

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  4. Oh Vicki---what a touching and heartfelt post. I lost my own sweet angel 13 years ago in June---Hugs and love--My thoughts are with you today-Cammie

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  5. Vicki,
    What a beautiful tribute to your angel. I am sorry to hear you suffered a loss like this.

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  6. Hugs to you as tears stream down my face....

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  7. Vicki! I have no words! Your post touched my heart! My thoughts are with you!!!

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  8. Vicki, thinking of you, and your Angel.

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  9. Warm, tight embracing hugs to you.

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  10. I lost my precious angel 21 years ago this Aug. 18th..it was devastating. I am grateful to have his twin brother, who has been a joy to all of us. Folks tend to dismiss my angel because of his surviving brother...but I know the depth of the loss, as a Mom. Just because I have one, doesn't diminish the loss of the other. Hugs to you, I truly understand.

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  11. Oh my, Vicki...your post brought me to tears. In 2004 my oldest daughter gave birth, prematurely, to her first child, a son! I cried as if it had been my very own son. I love thinking of him running around the streets of heaven, playing in the gardens, bringing joy to the loved who had gone there before him. May God give you strength and comfort as your thoughts are with your son. God bless you.
    Barb g

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  12. My thoughts are with you too. Yes a beautiful heartfelt well written tribute to your little angel. Your little angel is always with you.
    Hugs, Bela

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  13. Dear friends of mine got their own angel this week, six weeks on this earth. It was so touching to ready your post...

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Thanks so much for visiting my blog. I hope you have a wonderful day and I very much appreciate your sweet comments!

*****Vicki*****