Saturday, January 23, 2016

Facing Mortality

It's been a really rough few days. We got the news that Dad's cancer is an aggressive one and is not curable. Although it didn't come as a total shock, the news still bit like a cold north wind on my exposed cheeks. It's very difficult to watch someone be told that they are on borrowed time. Granted, as my Father says, he's had 80 good years. Nevertheless I wonder whether it's easier to pass suddenly. oblivious to the fact that you are living your last minutes or to have some time, but to have to deal with the deterioration of your body and the pain that accompanies that.

We are blessed to have so many people that care for us. The sidewalk leads a steady stream of visitors to the door, the ring of the phone a constant. Offers of help, support and kind words make us feel so very loved. 

It's funny the degree to which memories surface when you are spending time together. As we sat in the den last night I recalled our father daughter trip to Florida. At that time we lived in Brighton in a Victorian Home that we rented from a nice elderly lady. My Father, being the kind fellow that he was used to drive her to Florida in the Fall and Fly down to drive her back to Dresden in the Spring. I was lucky to accompany him on one of those trips, spending a week in West Palm Beach. Of course he took me to Disney World. It was a small park then in comparison to now, but I remember it being a pretty great day. I was disappointed that "it's a small world" was closed down, but really enjoyed the Pirates of the Caribbean. Fast forward to the teacup ride. I was spinning the cup so fast that Dad started to look a little green and insisted that I slow it down a bit-party pooper! (grin) On to the haunted house, which gave him a little reprieve from the fast lane. 

I took Jonathon to Disney when he was around eight years old. Things had changed immensely since I was ten. It was strange, but "it's a small world" was again closed down for renovations, but the teacups and the haunted house were just as they were 3o years earlier. 

I guess through this whole process, many memories and emotions will surface. My musings bring me comfort. In that comfort I shall find the strength that I need to remain as positive as possible and bring comfort to those around me. My biggest comfort is  my belief that when he leaves this earth, his life is not over, but rather his next journey begins. Is it a better place as everyone says, or is it just another place, another journey? My wish is that his last days are good days and filled with the love of family and good friends

Dad and his "bestest" buddy



  1. My heart hurts for you Vicki!! This is such a terrible thing to go through. I've been there. There are no words to make it better so I am just sending hugs and thoughts to you. xx

  2. Oh Vicki I'm sorry to hear but understand being through this with my FIL. I hope you and your dad can spend the time reminiscing about the good times like you mentioned above. Sending big hugs your way.

  3. Having gone through what you are going through with both of my parents, I know the roller coaster of emotions you must be experiencing. The key is remembering the great times and letting your Dad know he has made his imprint on this world and that you all will be ok when he is gone. The next few weeks/months will be hard, I'm not going to lie, and the next few years after that will be a different kind of hard. You will get through it. Lean on others who have gone through it. Embrace the memories, document them, share them, enjoy them.

    Wishing you the best and strength to your entire family.


  4. Peace be with your father, you, and your entire family as you go through this difficult situation.

  5. Peace be with your father, you, and your entire family as you go through this difficult situation.

  6. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, enjoy the time left and think of the good times you had growing up. HUGS

  7. Thinking of you at this time. My 'friend'/Stepfather and I shared a lot of funny/happy times and I love all my memories so continue to enjoy...make more memories....


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